The first weekend in June has arrived. It had always been a good weekend for me and Ron.
In Kalamazoo, the first weekend in June means not only an
expanded Art Hop on Friday night, but also the DoDah parade (I admit that I’ve
actually never been to see it), Art on the Mall, the Friends of the Kalamazoo
Public Library book sale, Kalamazoo Institute of Arts “Art in the Park” fair, and
the Greek Festival. If you’ve never been
here to see it, let me just say, that’s a whole lot of awesome from our little
city to pack into one weekend.
Of course, I participated in these events before Ron. But participating in them with Ron is what
made them more fun and why they are stowed away in my memory banks as some of
the most fun ever. Without him, I am not
sure I will even be able to go downtown this weekend. Memories are everywhere and I know someday I
have to face them (exposure therapy), but it doesn’t necessarily have to be
now, when everything is so fresh and raw and my heart is still broken and
exposed like a bloody piece of roadkill.
Three years ago, for this very weekend of events, Ron made
his first trip to Kalamazoo . He did not yet have a car (and it would have
been a long ride via moped), so I had to drive up to Alma
to pick him up and bring him back. Luckily,
I had been in a two day training in Lansing ,
so was already half way to Alma . When I got out of the training on Friday
(early, yay!), it was a beautiful, sunny day, not too hot, with a light
breeze. I was giddy all the way to his
apartment and we had a lovely drive back down to Kalamazoo together, holding hands,
singing along to music, stealing glances at one another. It was our longest car trip that far into the
relationship and any chance I got to be in an enclosed, small space with the
adorable Ron Clark, my heart would go all aflutter. SMITTEN!
I got to show him where I lived and then took him around Art
Hop, which just showcases what a cool place to live Kalamazoo
can be. We saw our friends, Kara and Daniel,
who had a booth on the downtown mall (and do again this year – go see them, if
you are around) and when they closed down for the night, we joined them for a
late dinner at Martini’s. Kara’s mom was
with us and generously picked up the tab, which made both Ron and I feel
loved. He got slightly drunk off two
Dragon’s Milks, not recognizing the high alcohol content and knocking them back
in quick succession. I remember he was
so cute with his little alcohol buzz and kept remarking, “Everyone here is so
nice.” One of the best things about Ron
was how openly he expressed his gratitude.
I drove us home under the stars and brought him up to my room, so happy
to actually have him in my house after three months of driving up to Alma
to see him every weekend.
That Saturday, we woke up and shared coffee out on my back deck. Ron was impressed with the house and my land
and the birds and . . . well, everything.
He was really happy and I was so happy that he was happy. After coffee, we went into town with my
sister to wander the Art in the Park, have lunch, and again drop by Kara and
Dan’s booth. We went to a retro candy
shop downtown (sadly, it has since closed) and Ron got a Giant Pixy Stix to eat
on the car ride home.
Looking at Art In The Park
Eating a Giant Pixy Stix in the car requires that one recline
After resting and regrouping for a little while at home, the
three of us headed back into town for Ron’s very first roller derby game. He already had a fascination with roller
girls when we started dating, as did/do I, and we had been talking about going to
enjoy a bout together. Then, low and
behold, there was a bout that very weekend.
I was glad to be the one to initiate him when we watched the Killamazoo
Derby Darlins take on The Chicago Outfit.
We talked later that weekend, and many more times over the years, about
me becoming a derby girl someday. Last summer,
he bought me all the equipment I need, so intent was he that I follow my dream
(and his for me) to become a derby girl.
He said having me join derby was something he wanted to see, even if he
was not physically on this planet to see it - he told me he would be watching with
a big smile from wherever he was when I finally get to it.
Outside Wings Stadium, getting ready to go see some Killamazoo roller derby
That Sunday three years ago, I took Ron to Frona’s Pantry on Gull
Lake Alma
and say goodbye. He was completely sold
on Kalamazoo . After a weekend of good food, great friends, hanging
with me and my sister, candy, sunny mornings and starry nights at the
farmhouse, art, beer, and roller derby, who wouldn’t be, right? Since he wanted to start coming down to my
turf instead of me always returning to Alma
for our weekends together, I intensified my efforts to find him a car. I bought (and he eventually paid me back) and
drove one to him the following weekend so that I wouldn’t always have to do 4
hours of driving to get him and 4 hours to bring him home. We were crazy in love. Our first Kalamazoo
weekend was one of the best I can remember. I was so happy.
At Frona's: I think I was supposed to be serious, like Ron, but I couldn't keep the giddy off my face
Two years ago, the first weekend in June, we missed all the Kalamazoo
events because it was his friends’ wedding up in Mt.
Pleasant Kalamazoo
festivities and were honored to be a part of the wedding. Ron always loved to get dressed up and he
loved it even more when we could get dressed up together. The ceremony was beautiful, in a small country
church, and the reception was awesome and had free flowing alcohol. I drank many a gin and tonic and enjoyed a
wonderfully drunken evening laughing and talking to his friends. Ron drove us back to my parents’, even
stopping along the way so I could get out and be sick when the movement of the
car got to me. I felt so carefree and so
taken care of by Ron. It was another
fantastic first weekend of June.
Dressed up for Ryan and Kathy's wedding, with the ever faithful Ru beside us
Last year, because Ron had been diagnosed with cancer and
was undergoing chemo, we didn’t make any solid plans. We waited to just see how he felt. He either would or would not feel up to doing
anything in Kalamazoo .
The trooper - out and about for Art on the Mall
Ron was such a trooper.
Of course he said he felt up to it. He
wanted to try and live each and every day to the fullest. With my brother, we stopped by the library
sale, but skipped Art in the Park. We
walked through the Art on the Mall, said hi to Kara and Dan, and headed over to
Greek Fest, where Ron attempted to feast, in spite of his chemo-nausea. Although he got tired and needed to sit down
here and there, he persisted. He was so
inspiring. By the end of the day, he was
really worn out, but, in true Ron fashion, he had no regrets. He really lived. He lived each and every day. He lived in a way that inspires me to live,
even now as I remember and write this . . .
even when my heart is so shattered that I would rather not live at all. When I think of Ron and all he went through
and how positive he stayed, I am inspired.
We all should be inspired. If you
have the good fortune to be alive, take advantage of it and LIVE.
Trying to muster up an appetite at Greek Fest
This year, I will be out of town tonight for Art Hop. And tomorrow . . . well, I guess we will see
what tomorrow holds, but a large portion of me thinks I am not quite ready to
go downtown. In the meantime, I cherish
the memories I made with Ron on those first weekends in June . . . especially
the very first one we shared, the first time he came to my house or hung out in
Kalamazoo . It was one of my best weekends ever.
Speaking of best ever – for those who were following Ron’s
blog, he had a post called Best Day Ever.
It was really sweet and I felt special to have been included. He had planned to have that be a recurring
theme and made a list of other days he wanted to write about. However, he never got to it. In the end, blogging just got to be too much
for him. Still, when I stumbled upon his
handwritten list of the best days ever, I feel compelled to share with you what
he wrote. I don’t think the order means
anything – these were just some of his favorite moments in time, and I am
writing them exactly as he has:
-
Maple Syrup Festival with HB
-
4th of July in Mt.
P
-
Making new trail at camp
-
Day Milo was born
-
Mackinac Island w/ family
-
Coffee morning with Grandma and Grandpa
-
Cottage in Frankfort
w/ Jo and Jen
-
Rocky and Keegan’s wedding (watching fireworks w/ HB in
Lake )
I am glad I was able to share in a few of them, and as you
read this, maybe you recall one of these days and know you were a part of it,
too. Ron touched many lives and I am not
ready to forget the joy and gratitude he experienced at each living moment. I will just keep sharing what I remember.
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